Ministry of the Fences spokesman Arfur Fnarhar has announced today that it may yet be possible that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Cattyville at all. But he insists that although this was the sole justification for the war with Cattyville (whose fave foods last year were fish and chicken), it doesn't change a thing so there.

What we did find in the recent campaign were sometimes too terrible for us to be bothered to report on but here they are anyway:

Weapons of Mass Confection: An abandoned ice cream van, minus its payload of chocolate bars and those ice lollies with the crispy coating and nuts sprinkled on them.

Weapons of Mass Reflection: The Cattyville government used the cunning tactic of putting mirrors in the streets, meaning our heroes would have to walk around them to avoid cuts, splinters, and in some cases as many as seven years bad luck. A more sinister version of this weaponry was even put in children’s fairgrounds, and are proven to change the shape of the body and make it all uglylike.

Weapons of Mass Construction: Large pieces of plant and equipment, used to rebuild the Cattyville war machine (the buildings), which we had just gone to all the trouble of blowing to bits.

[Late-breaking news: The Weapons of Mass Construction mentioned above were in fact owned by a Doggieville company presided over by Chuck Greeny, best mate of George W Peorge - but since Greeny also owns the weapons company which made the bombs that did the damage in the first place, that's alright then.]

It is unclear what possible repercussions this non-discovery of the very things we set out to destroy, but our most illuminated Mayor George W Peorge has said he is going to set up a task force which will gather all the evidence available into one place, dismiss it out of hand, and then maybe bury it in soft peat for future generations to use as food or something.

Dick Cheyney has 23 known diseases (like a big pigeon).