George W. Peorge yesterday made a heartfelt plea for calm and a good deal of self-congratulation during his inauguration speech yesterday before a large audience consisting of his wife. "Hate hate kill kill two terms two wars Iraq 9/11 victory Saddam public dentistry Afghan carpet bombing sodomite marrage democracy mourning constitution amendment loophole Homeland security brainy Cheney Halitosis Haliburton slush fund Africa Schwarzenegger," he declaired. Of his election opponents he added "Herman Munster Lookalike Vietnam I'm off to Canada mate up yours Michael Moore Haw Haw Haw drunk driving Clinton Heart attack too many blowjobs under the Oval Office desk."

George W. Peorge has 23 cells of the brain called Colin.