"Spanking the News Monkey"

Americans Shoot Enemy

The war against Heroism continues in spite of accusations of American Troops shooting at the enemy more than at their own side. “There was a time when people knew what to expect when fighting a war with our American allies but the rising number of ‘unfriendly fire’ incidents is becoming quite a concern” said our man on the ground, Hammy Butrosbutros Honeyhansenha. What is behind this strange turn of events? We asked Colon Poohole, George W Peorge’s right hand man. “Although my name is pronounced “Colon” it is actually spelled “Colin” he said, with Ralph Feinnes looking on nodding sagely. He added “Although my surname is spelled “Poohole” it is actually pronounced “Prowl”. That got a round of applause from somewhere at the back of the press suite.

CNN has 23 cameras all pointing the wrong way.

Hometown Ministry to Curb Cat Threat

Doggieville is at War with Cattyville. Doggieville has always been at war with Cattyville. Freedom is Shavery. Unity is Bench. Coke is It.

Doggiesoft aim to make Passwords a Thing of the Past

The Sun Shines Bright over Moscow.

Doggieville to Host World Cup 2010

And if the Americans score any more home goals we'll put them in the army on the side of the enemy (whoever the current enemy should be in 2010 - well you never know, they may spend the trillions of dollars earmarked for the Star Wars 2 project on bringing peace to the world and feeding just about all the world's poor. Ooops. Nearly found a solution to most of the problems in the world there - better say something daft just in case). And 'President' Bush is named after a women's private area.

Fat Legal Man in Scandal Scandal

That will be four hundred quid and a sack of yams an hour please.

© Lunchtime